Punisher is going through a hard time. Once upon a time, he blew up a bar full of villains and rogues which no one survived. Then through some genius hocus pocus, these W-List villains get resurrected and proceed to exact their vengeance on Frank Castle. Also, the graves of his deceased family have also been dug up. Now, in the upcoming Dark Reign: The List featuring Castle, he will meet up with Wolverine’s maniacal son, Daken. The results are clearly not going to be for the better as it’s resulting in the picture you see above and the following pictures released to HYPE THIS UP TO ITS BOLLOCKS!

This is NOT a good idea. I’ve been talking it over with pro’s and retailers and we’ve all pretty much come to the same conclusion. This is a clear reminder to all comics readers that well known and established vigilantes do not have a connection to any kind of supernatural forces or shenanigans. Hey, remember the last time Castle died, and he got resurrected by angels to exact his brand of punishment on evil spirits? No? It’s understandable because primarily it was SHIT. Why retread? This is a clear reminder also, to make you aware that if you really want a good fix of Punisher violence then hesitate no more to pick up Punisher MAX, because it’s your cup of tea, you unforgiving bastards. Good time to do so to, it’s being rebranded and relaunched with the fantastic writing skills of Jason Aaron and a return to Frank by Steve Dillon.

Going back to supernatural things, I understand the desire to try new things in comics. Anything can happen. You can kill Captain America, you can have him bounce around time, the exact same is happening with Bruce Wayne, he’s not dead, he’s surfing the timestream in an almighty fuck up by DC (yeah, we killed Bruce with Batman RIP, and then we killed him the same time with Final Crisis, what’s going on?! Oh that’s right, we fucked it!). Spidey makes a deal with the devil and loses all memories of his marriage to save his aunt. It doesn’t always work out for the best. Same with this. What is this trying to prove? How is it even going to get The Punisher back to the way he was? Is this a long term thing? Is MAX now going to skyrocket because of this?!

No. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, bribe me with the Midnight Sons. I’m not buying it.

If need be, I’ll try and read it for an upcoming thing called Potential Bleeding Thumbs. I’ll read it so you dont have to. I can’t promise I’ll pay money for it though. Just read it in the shop. Yeah. That’ll do.

Lingerie for dogs. At a time, when countries are pulling themselves out of recessions and tough economic climates, I’m so fucking glad SOMEONE had the bright idea to fill that much-needed gap in the market that everyone can benefit from. I mean, if I was a female dog, I’d be feeling pretty unsexy licking myself in public, or even in my girly dog basket. Now, all female dogs (and probably trans-gender mutts) can bask in a basque (?) and feel comfortable knowing that their cleaning rituals, or general in-season romps are set to sizzle. Hey, Marmaduke, how do you like this little number…

You can obtain these fine items from Metro Paws. That is, if they had any in stock. Hang in there, lustpuppies!

From out of nowhere, a press release popped along that’s driven everyone doo-lally today. Disney has just bought Marvel for near enough FOUR BILLION DOLLARS.  Why? Something about business. I don’t speak coroprate that well, but you might make sense of this move that “highlights Disney’s strategic focus on quality branded content, technological innovation and international expansion to build long-term shareholder value.” See! Silly you!

That means Disney now shares Spider Man, Iron Man, X-Men etc etc amongst another five thousand characters. Here comes yet another “suit” comment.

This transaction combines Marvel’s strong global brand and world-renowned library of characters including Iron Man, Spider-Man, X-Men, Captain America, Fantastic Four and Thor with Disney’s creative skills, unparalleled global portfolio of entertainment properties, and a business structure that maximizes the value of creative properties across multiple platforms and territories.

I’m absolutely shitting this. Despite another comment that says they’re “not to rebrand Marvel as Disney but to shine a spotlight on the Marvel brand“, I still sense something going totally shit with this. Seems Disney are more interested in the talents of the creative teams at Marvel than the actual characters, but you can’t tell me you won’t see Hannah Montana going to fight for Spidey’s affections, the Jonas Brothers Vs Skaar, Son Of Hulk. Deadpool Vs Darkwing Duck. Chip N Dale/Young Avengers. Dark Reign Hearts. Goofy Max. THE LIST IS SCARING ME.

Actually, I’d read Goofy Max, or Punisher Kills The Disney Universe. How would Disney handle stories by Warren Ellis, Garth Ennis, Ed Brubaker…

Moviewise, everything seems to be staying the same for now. Spidey’s owned by Sony, whilst the X Men are at Fox. But…big but…why don’t they haul Pixar in to do a Marvel movie? Yeah man, I’m talking LOCKJAW & THE PET AVENGERS!

Ladies, work that man to a frenzy when you emerge by candlelight sporting these fine rashers across your breasts. You’ve fallen for his pulling line of “How do you like your eggs in the morning? Fertilised?” and head him off at the pass with “How do you like your bacon? On my tits?” Of course there’s no preference, whether it’s smoked, unsmoked, back, middle or even rindless, the choice of rasher is up to you. Also bear in mind the canvas you have to work with will determine how much bacon you’d need. I’d imagine here’s nothing worse than having a large cup size and not having enough strips to cover an overspill. What do I know, I’m not a girl. This is quickly becoming a fad too, get on it before someone starts putting REAL PIGS ON CHESTS.

You have this Flickr account to blame.

Yes. That’s right. H G Well’s vision has gone soopah anime steampunk. Here’s some blurb discovered about it that you will read for your curiosity.

“It’s an R rated, retro-history, steam punk epic set in a 1914, fourteen years after the first failed Martian invasion. Mankind has rebuilt her cities and military adapting a lot of the abandoned Martian technology. They’ve created an international defense force, A.R.E.S., based on the lower end of Manhattan and under the command of Theaodore Roosevelt. They’ve built a formidable force centered around giant, steam powered battle tripods. Think of “Band of Brothers” meets “Star Wars”, meets World WO. It will be cool-steam powered battle tripods, doomed Cossack cavalry charges, victorian decco, steam punk Manhattan, 1500 foot long armored battle zeppelins, Teddy Roosevelt, souped up Tri-planes, blood on steaming metal, sex in the cockpit. The usual.”

It’s not too far away from the mighty graphic novel, Scarlet Traces, which if you love WOTW, then seek out Ian Edginton and D’israeli’s reworking of a classic and it’s follow ups. But will this shape up to be just as awesome? Judging from the trailer..I just don’t know. If this fails, I will read Killraven for years to come.

]]> http://newbreedofnerd.wordpress.com/2009/08/24/ulla-goliath-ulla/feed/ 0 The DvS Ulla? Is it me youre looking for? http://newbreedofnerd.wordpress.com/2009/08/17/i-can-talk-into-my-freakin-wrist/ http://newbreedofnerd.wordpress.com/2009/08/17/i-can-talk-into-my-freakin-wrist/#comments Mon, 17 Aug 2009 23:36:00 +0000 The DvS http://newbreedofnerd.wordpress.com/?p=835 ]]> It’s not exactly new on the market, but since the end of 2008, the SWAP Watch has been gathering quite the attention. I’d vaguely heard of it but only been shown it’s full on craziness this evening by my Blammo counterpart, The Count. Look, anything that can make a man practically gush unexplainable juices is definately worthy of an NBoN mention. And here is said object.

So, Mr SWAP. What is it you do exactly? As you can see it tells the time, much like you’d expect any conventional watch to do. But it’s main draw is that this is a mobile phone that you sport on your wrist. In fact, it has all the gubbins you’d associate with a new mobile phone these days. It has a touchscreen, Bluetooth, it has playback of MP3 and MP4, GPRS and it has a 1.3 MP camera. You can send and recieve text and picture messages. Just insert a compatible sim card in and off you go play Michael Knight or Dick Tracy.

How much for one of these? Amazon have one down at 250 Great British Sheets. Question is, would you leave the house wearing one? For the purpose of imitating childhood heroes with super technology you only dreamed about, the answer is a big fat resounding YES. I’m now selling my children.

More info on the coolest thing you’ve ever seen, and links where to buy one (or three if you fancy being kind to me and The Count)  can be found here. Meanwhile here is a video displaying the watch, and an elegant masterclass on how NOT to make television shows.

I don’t think there’s been anyone more recognised in music than Les Paul, who died today from pneumonia, age 94. The man popularized the solid body electric guitar, championed the experimentation of feedback and string bends, and was responsible for the invention of multi-track recording. Music lost an undisputed legend today.

Hi. I am marketing my latest model of laptop, and I want something catchy to promote it. It’s rather slim, possibly one of the thinnest machines money can buy, and I’d like to reflect this into my promotional campaign. I’d need to display this using various “thin openings” we can slip it into, something like between two paving slabs, or slide under a door, you get the idea. Yet I’d like it to be totally unique. Any ideas?

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