Well, the year is drawing to a close, yet we still have time to fit something in to be remembered in the annals (double n there, pervs) of history for time to come. And if you’re Marvel Comics, then your 2009 shall forever be remembered as “The Year We Chose To Really Fuck Up The Punisher“. Ladies and gentlemen, I present next month’s most stupidest thing to happen to a comic character in a long, long time.
I do like a good feline interlude every now and again. I’m also prone to a romantic explosion amidst a public display too. Look, the skinny is cats need their own version of Jeremy Kyle or Jerry Springer, it’d solve a lot more problems within the furry community.
Here we are, back once again to delve deep into the absurdity that is human life, before NASA fire their crap into the moon and ultimately KILL US ALL. So, before we all cop it in lunar fire, now is as better time than any to talk about this!
Lingerie for dogs. At a time, when countries are pulling themselves out of recessions and tough economic climates, I’m so fucking glad SOMEONE had the bright idea to fill that much-needed gap in the market that everyone can benefit from. I mean, if I was a female dog, I’d be feeling pretty unsexy licking myself in public, or even in my girly dog basket. Now, all female dogs (and probably trans-gender mutts) can bask in a basque (?) and feel comfortable knowing that their cleaning rituals, or general in-season romps are set to sizzle. Hey, Marmaduke, how do you like this little number…
You can obtain these fine items from Metro Paws. That is, if they had any in stock. Hang in there, lustpuppies!
From out of nowhere, a press release popped along that’s driven everyone doo-lally today. Disney has just bought Marvel for near enough FOUR BILLION DOLLARS. Why? Something about business. I don’t speak coroprate that well, but you might make sense of this move that “highlights Disney’s strategic focus on quality branded content, technological innovation and international expansion to build long-term shareholder value.” See! Silly you! Read the rest of this entry »
Love cats? Love obsessive use of autotune in your music? Yeah, it’d sure be something if those two things were fused together, like some sick creation in an underground laboratory. Call Dr Moreau now. Actually, CANCEL THAT CALL! Our prayers have been answered! Our people may live on with hope! Our populace need no longer fear to breed! Let’s hold hands and meow together!
As a stereotypical male, it’s my duty to observe the goings on in the world of lingerie, using the excuse of “it’s purely for journalistic experience of course“. Edible lingerie has been somewhat of a wackpot idea. Chocolate’s messy. Candy floss gets stuck between the important bits. Beaded love hearts in the shape of a thong is actually quite ridiculous, and by the time you’ve hit a purple one, you feel sick or you’re totally sugared up. Now someone has taken the sexy edible factor to a whole new level.
Ladies, work that man to a frenzy when you emerge by candlelight sporting these fine rashers across your breasts. You’ve fallen for his pulling line of “How do you like your eggs in the morning? Fertilised?” and head him off at the pass with “How do you like your bacon? On my tits?” Of course there’s no preference, whether it’s smoked, unsmoked, back, middle or even rindless, the choice of rasher is up to you. Also bear in mind the canvas you have to work with will determine how much bacon you’d need. I’d imagine here’s nothing worse than having a large cup size and not having enough strips to cover an overspill. What do I know, I’m not a girl. This is quickly becoming a fad too, get on it before someone starts putting REAL PIGS ON CHESTS.
You have this Flickr account to blame.
I love War Of the Worlds. I won’t deny it. I won’t hide from it. I also will own up and say I own the Cruise/Spielberg travesty on DVD, as despite it’s poorly written script, it’s atrocious acting and it feeling rather rushed, it is a well produced film and effects wise, it’s quite beautiful on a big tv. STOP NOW, I’VE SAID TOO MUCH. So what’s this all about then?
Yes. That’s right. H G Well’s vision has gone soopah anime steampunk. Here’s some blurb discovered about it that you will read for your curiosity.
“It’s an R rated, retro-history, steam punk epic set in a 1914, fourteen years after the first failed Martian invasion. Mankind has rebuilt her cities and military adapting a lot of the abandoned Martian technology. They’ve created an international defense force, A.R.E.S., based on the lower end of Manhattan and under the command of Theaodore Roosevelt. They’ve built a formidable force centered around giant, steam powered battle tripods. Think of “Band of Brothers” meets “Star Wars”, meets World WO. It will be cool-steam powered battle tripods, doomed Cossack cavalry charges, victorian decco, steam punk Manhattan, 1500 foot long armored battle zeppelins, Teddy Roosevelt, souped up Tri-planes, blood on steaming metal, sex in the cockpit. The usual.”
It’s not too far away from the mighty graphic novel, Scarlet Traces, which if you love WOTW, then seek out Ian Edginton and D’israeli’s reworking of a classic and it’s follow ups. But will this shape up to be just as awesome? Judging from the trailer..I just don’t know. If this fails, I will read Killraven for years to come.
It’s not exactly new on the market, but since the end of 2008, the SWAP Watch has been gathering quite the attention. I’d vaguely heard of it but only been shown it’s full on craziness this evening by my Blammo counterpart, The Count. Look, anything that can make a man practically gush unexplainable juices is definately worthy of an NBoN mention. And here is said object.
So, Mr SWAP. What is it you do exactly? As you can see it tells the time, much like you’d expect any conventional watch to do. But it’s main draw is that this is a mobile phone that you sport on your wrist. In fact, it has all the gubbins you’d associate with a new mobile phone these days. It has a touchscreen, Bluetooth, it has playback of MP3 and MP4, GPRS and it has a 1.3 MP camera. You can send and recieve text and picture messages. Just insert a compatible sim card in and off you go play Michael Knight or Dick Tracy.
How much for one of these? Amazon have one down at 250 Great British Sheets. Question is, would you leave the house wearing one? For the purpose of imitating childhood heroes with super technology you only dreamed about, the answer is a big fat resounding YES. I’m now selling my children.
More info on the coolest thing you’ve ever seen, and links where to buy one (or three if you fancy being kind to me and The Count) can be found here. Meanwhile here is a video displaying the watch, and an elegant masterclass on how NOT to make television shows.
I don’t think there’s been anyone more recognised in music than Les Paul, who died today from pneumonia, age 94. The man popularized the solid body electric guitar, championed the experimentation of feedback and string bends, and was responsible for the invention of multi-track recording. Music lost an undisputed legend today.
THE PITCH
Hi. I am marketing my latest model of laptop, and I want something catchy to promote it. It’s rather slim, possibly one of the thinnest machines money can buy, and I’d like to reflect this into my promotional campaign. I’d need to display this using various “thin openings” we can slip it into, something like between two paving slabs, or slide under a door, you get the idea. Yet I’d like it to be totally unique. Any ideas?
THE OUTCOME
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